This book was chosen for my book club by Glen Eira Library. It’s a wonderful service they run and I’ll talk more about book clubs on another day. The books have proved interesting and mostly we have lots to talk about. This one is no different, and I haven’t even read the questions they’ve provided.
Sally Hepworth has written a book that I found a challenge to put down. I’m not saying I like it, just that I struggled to put it down. This book is full of emotional abuse, physical abuse and gaslighting. We see it all through the eyes of women who have experienced this abuse. From that point of view it’s a very hard read. But Hepworth has managed to make her book eminently readable. I sat down yesterday to read it for just half an hour so I could say I’d made progress. When I put it down a couple of hours later I only had about 30 pages to go.
Pam, the mother in this book, has dementia. Apparently dementia can be caused by Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Often boxers, US football players or soldiers can develop traumatic brain injury and this could lead to dementia. Why am I giving you this information? Because if a person has been knocked out often enough by their spouse then TBI followed by dementia may occur. And did I mention the mother has dementia? If you haven’t figured out what I’m suggesting then you could read the book. Unless you think this might be a trigger for you.
Normally, I’d be making a fuss of how this book is set in Melbourne. The trouble is it doesn’t actually matter. This could be set anywhere, and it doesn’t actually feel Australian, or even Melburnian. It just feels generic. And that’s not a problem, these issues could occur anywhere, to any family, in any country. Some of the things place it firmly in Victoria, the discussion with the Police, for instance.
This book is beautifully put together. The information we need to understand the entire is given to us in dribs and drabs. I don’t remember a single instance of being told what’s happening, it was all show rather than tell. Hepworth has done a skillful job of weaving the different stories together so we understand how dementia can affect memories, and how hard it might be for the adult children when their parent wants to remarry while still married to their other parent. There are other issues in here which are dealt with beautifully. We see how they affect someone’s life and see their lives come undone or be put back together.
While I recognise how beautifully the characters are portrayed, I find this book to be so challenging to read. The reason for my discomfort is the emotional issues the characters are going through. Each one is such a challenge to read about, but put them all together and I now realise I was shell-shocked having read almost the entire book in one sitting.
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