Relationships are very much like two-way streets – they don’t really work unless both people are putting in the effort. However, to be able to love other people, we must love ourselves first. Below are a couple of ways we can practice self-love in a relationship so that we can give in full.
Share your expectations with your partner
Communication plays a crucial role in every healthy relationship and being able to freely communicate your thoughts, feelings, plans, and expectations to your partner is a good sign you two are compatible. When you’re in a relationship where your opinion is valued and your values are respected, you feel more comfortable sharing your inner thoughts as well as some issues you’re having. This ultimately brings you two closer and helps you work things out more easily and effectively.
Take some time to think about the values that you stand for, your dreams, both big and small, and your goals, both short-term and long-term. Write everything down if you need to, and try to be open with yourself. Remind yourself occasionally of what you expect from your relationship and life in general and you’ll have no problem staying on track with your personal goals.
Remain focused on your own goals
Once you enter a relationship, it’s easy to get lost in it. As you get closer to your partner, your identities become intertwined, and you start imagining your future life with them and begin sharing the same goals as your relationship progresses. However, it’s important that you don’t start neglecting your own personal goals in the process.
Whether it’s a career goal or a desire to cross off certain things off your bucket list, you have to make sure that you remain focused on your current personal goals as well as the goals you had before you met your partner. Plan your lives together, but remember to stay true to who you are and who you want to be and make your personal goals your top priority.
Reserve some time just for yourself
While making time for your partner is essential, sometimes you just need to be alone and spend some time by yourself. Scheduling some ‘me time’ gives you a chance to detach, reflect, and re-energize, leaving you with a clear head and in a good mood for your partner.
Choose some relaxing activities you can enjoy solo, whether it’s binge-watching your favorite TV show, relaxing in a tub with a glass of wine and music on, or treating yourself to a nice gift and a pleasant meal at the restaurant. Show yourself some love and you’re bound to attract more love in your life.
Maintain a degree of independence
Being able to take care of yourself and remain independent in a relationship is crucial. You shouldn’t rely for everything solely on your partner, and this also includes your sexual satisfaction. No matter how great your partner is between the sheets, solo stimulation is essential for understanding your body’s needs and getting off on your own from time to time can even enhance sex with your partner.
For instance, when you’re going on a business trip and you know that you will be spending some time apart from your partner, playing with yourself using male masturbation toys can be a small act of self-love and a great way to relieve stress while on the road. It’s also a way of taking responsibility for your sexual satisfaction and giving your libido a helping hand while at the same time connecting with yourself and staying in touch with your fantasies.
Take responsibility for your own happiness
Just like you shouldn’t always rely on your partner for sexual pleasure, you should also seek happiness within yourself and not in your partner. Surely, the person we love can help enhance the happiness we carry and nurture in ourselves, but relying on our significant others to make us happy only leads to dissatisfaction.
You are the one who needs to choose happiness and make yourself feel content. Don’t wait for everything in your life to be perfect before you start to feel happy – choose to be happy now. Silence the thoughts about the past and the future, and try to live more in the present, as it is the only thing we truly have.
Work on your flaws and weaknesses
Practicing self-love also involves identifying what you love about yourself but also the things you don’t like and would rather change. We’ve all got certain flaws and weaknesses, but learning how to deal with our issues and working on improving ourselves is what will eventually set us free and teach us how to love ourselves even more.
Everyone’s got their personal baggage, and once you decide to deal with yours, you’ll be helping both yourself and your partner. By handling your own weaknesses and flaws, you’ll also be showing how much you respect and value your relationship, so it’s a win-win situation all around.
There’s a common misconception that we need to find someone to complete us. While the thought of being united with our other half sounds very romantic and poetic, the truth is, real love comes when we’re capable of loving ourselves. Only when we’re full from within are we able to give all of ourselves, and this can only be achieved once we start cultivating self-love.
