Becoming a parent is a complete game changer and one that most people are completely unprepared for. You think you know what’s involved, but the reality is almost always far different from what you might have expected. With the love and wonder come a lot of stresses, and concerns, not to mention the loss of much of your sleep and alone time. Coping with becoming a dad can be tough, so do what you can to look after yourself and minimize the stress. Here are some tips to help you focus on the joys of parenthood.
Balance Your Demands
Everyone at work will be excited for you and supportive of your new role as a family man, but they will still expect you to fulfil your work role to the same standard you were pre-baby. The trick is to balance your demands and be upfront with everyone about what you can give them. If you need to stay back late in the office, give your spouse warning. Tell her a day or more in advance. Avoid calling that afternoon and telling her your snowed under, because the reality is that she’s most likely been waiting all day for you to come home so that she can offload your new precious burden for an hour or two.
Don’t think she’s at home having a holiday, being a new parent is tough and she will be exhausted and need your support. And it’s important to be open with your boss in the same way. If you need to leave early, or have a day off here and there to help out, be upfront and open about what’s going on. If your boss has children, they will understand and should appreciate your honesty and commitment to being a family man.
Man Groups
You’ve heard of mums’ groups, why not find a good man group? Even if that just means catching up with a mate or two to chat, it can be a massive help. All the better if they are a parent too and you can talk babies and fatherhood. Having a social support group is crucial to maintaining a helping psychological outlook and a good way to deal with stresses and issues.
Chat about what’s bothering you, or even just take your bub for a walk in the stroller to grab a coffee with a mate. Having that social interaction to talk things through will make a world of difference and will remind you that you are by no means alone in what you’re going through.
Get More Involved
While it’s important to take the time to socialise and to have some alone time, it’s just as important that you feel like you are actively involved in the parenting process rather than just being a bystander who has to listen to the crying at night. The more involved you are, and the stronger the bond your begin to form with your baby, the better you will feel about all of the changes you need to make to become a good father.
It can be difficult at first for men if their partner is breastfeeding, because you’re a little removed from the action. But do your best to get involved with every other routine in your baby’s life and get to know your little one. A great exercise for this is to try and draw your baby’s face, it doesn’t have to be good – no one will see it, but by studying your child’s face in this way you will gain a deeper appreciation for them.
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Do whatever you can to hit the pause button at least once a day, remind yourself that parenting should be enjoyable, and that millions of people have done it before with evident success. Enjoy the ride, it’s a short one.
Image From: https://babyology.com.au/baby/newborn/practical-advice-new-dads-appreciative-mum.html
