My son Guy May took his life two and a half years ago. He was 48 years old. He left behind family, friends, admirers, FB followers whom he had touched in a uniquely, inspiring personal way. The phrase, ‘once met never forgotten,’ personifies Guy.
And yet, he is gone. How little we truly understand suicide, Guy was complex, suicide is complex. Increasingly there is more openness in the media and from mental health professionals even politicians but is it cutting through? I think not. Statistics remain concerning.
The felt reality, is that suicide impacts on us all, as a society. It hurts, grieves, perplexes. Is it not time to find a new direction? Not just to – have a conversation, begin a narrative or create a space – from my perspective, albeit with some notable exceptions, there is a hollowness, a lack of interpersonal emotional engagement. We are all involved in some way. Should we be talking more simply, even risk being controversial and perhaps not looking solely to dedicated mental health workers to take responsibility away from us.
Michael Griffith contacted me out of the blue, to ask if I would permit him to dedicate a play, then titled Suicide Row, to Guy whom he knew from various acting roles. Guy was an actor, photographer, painter also. With some hesitation I agreed to read the play, feeling my way through it with trepidation, the reality of Guys death by suicide being so raw.
I surprised myself by laughing at times,
then working my way through to the conclusion. The various characters depict so persuasively the transient nature of suicide ideation and also its finality – there is no second chance. Michael’s play humanises this complexity in a way that compels me and the audience to want to do something about it. To talk to one another, for these perplexing issues to be openly addressed, now in this life, for those palpably at risk.
They may be successful, wealthy or without society’s acknowledged benefits, as in being homeless, living on the fringe or as the characters in this play, ordinary people we all know. That so lauded sense of hope, for some men and women can seem irretrievably lost. Friends and family who do care, become ‘not enough’ to fill the emptiness. Despair becomes acute and can overtake.
What Michael Griffith’s play compels us to appreciate is the finality of suicide, and despite this being obvious, it impacts as surprising, startling even, there is no coming back.
The humorous teasing amongst the characters, the depiction of the different methods they used is part of the realism and brings home the need to talk, to believe to intervene. It does not, in my view put even those possibly contemplating suicide, at risk. The Internet provides a ready reference after all. It gives the characters reason to talk seriously to each other about their state of mind and motivation leading to such an undesirable finality.
Suicide more generally, is experienced as something to be ashamed of,
no one knows the details, what to say, it is the silent elephant in the room for all those left behind. My thoughts in progress, is that to save another’s life, at the expense of one’s own, is the ultimate pinnacle of our humanity and indeed this is so. But to save one’s own life when loneliness, despair, no sense of future, pain and more, prevail –also takes immense courage. To pull back from the intended act at that crucial moment, to live on, takes guts, needs applause, acknowledgement and recognition from all of us. My son feared being laughed at if he failed, men may be more prone to this skewed way of thinking.
Michael Griffith’s play has led me to engage in these thoughts. The general public, the you and me will emerge with a better understanding and greater awareness of the value of straight talking. To not be put off by that friend or relative’s denial of their real emotional state, often done very cleverly. This play needs to be endorsed by Mindframe. It is the end of the play, not the methods depicted that impacts on the audience. It gives opportunity for the art and craft of writing to ask questions, to generate change, to talk openly to one another. It is time to end the sense of shame and to facilitate and acknowledge instead the immense courage needed to pull back from an intended suicide.
This play manages this issue with humour and exhaustive questioning of “why”, leaving characters to come up with spluttering explanations but convincing no one. My son Guy would have endorsed this play, as do I.
~Felicity May
If you would like to help us stage this play then Please:
Marooned
The Lawler Theatre 18 to 28th Sept 2019
Tickets on Sale soon.
