By A.S
For psychologist and author Dr Erica Frydenberg, remembering is not simply a matter of looking in the past; it is a means of understanding her origins, showing respect to those who came before her, and passing on their stories to future generations.
Her most personal book to date, titled “Do Not Forget Me Street: Remembering the Budapesti Schindlers”, which she published with Ginninderra Press headed up by powerhouse publisher Debbie Lee, begins with her birthplace as Frydenberg was born in Budapest during the Second World War and was subsequently brought up in the Hungarian Jewish community in Sydney; she has therefore gone back to the city where she was born to discover her family history which has stayed mostly hidden for decades.
At the centre of the story is Frydenberg’s uncle, Nandor Eichel, who saved her life when she was less than a year old. Her circumstances were desperate and, as she describes her condition before her ultimate rescue by her uncle, she had been “left for the dead”. In a twist of her fate Nandor Eichel intervened and helped save her life.
His story, however, does not end there. During one of the darkest periods of European history, Nandor Eichel risked his own life to help rescue other Jewish people in Budapest. Frydenberg describes him as one of the lesser-known “Budapesti Schindlers”, individuals who, like the more widely remembered rescuers Raoul Wallenberg and Carl Lutz, placed themselves in extreme danger to save Jewish lives.
Through testimonies and old documents uncovered during her research, Frydenberg discovered more about the role her uncle played during the Holocaust. She learned that Eichel would go to prisons in Budapest to rescue Jewish people, placing himself in considerable danger to help others.
What makes Frydenberg’s account particularly compelling is the silence surrounding her uncle’s experiences. Nandor did not readily speak about what had happened during the war. And it was only decades later, when Frydenberg began piecing together the fragments of her family’s story, travelling back to Budapest, that she uncovered her family’s hidden history.
The result is not only an exceptional historical account it is also an exploration of what happens to memories when people choose, or need, to remain silent.
From personal history to wider narratives
Frydenberg’s professional life has been centred around psychology, particularly resilience, wellbeing and coping with adversity. She is a Principal Research Fellow (Hon) and Associate Professor in Psychology at the University of Melbourne’s Graduate School of Education and has authored and co-authored 25 books and 150 articles and research papers.
Her interests provide an intriguing insight into her book “Do Not Forget Me Street”. The book moves between historical investigation and questions that have remained relevant long after the events themselves have passed, such as: How do people live with traumatic memories? What happens when difficult experiences are not spoken about but suppressed? How can stories of suffering be passed between generations without allowing the past to disappear?
The book also considers resilience, survivor guilt, coping, and what Frydenberg describes as the “dignity of silence”, drawing on ideas associated with psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl.
Rather than presenting history as something confined to the past, Frydenberg examines how it is passed through generations and shapes families and communities.
Do Not Forget Me Street is named after a street in Budapest, where her uncle Nandor Eichel lived. For her, the title means more than just a place on the map.
The title becomes a reminder of the people whose lives were destroyed during the Holocaust, but also of those who acted to protect others and, in doing so, put their own safety at enormous personal risk.
Although there are many ways to write about history. Frydenberg chooses to approach it through the intimate lens of family.
Years later, her investigation into her uncle Nandor Eichel demonstrates how a single family story can open a much wider conversation about courage, memory and human behaviour.
The book not only asks readers to remember those who suffered. It also asks them to remember those who acted, often without seeking recognition, to protect others.
Some stories are difficult to tell. Some stories remain silent for generations. But some stories, Frydenberg reminds us, must not be forgotten.
Available online and all good book stores including Novel Idea Bookshop, Jeffreys Books and Avenue Bookstore.
