Many people believe that after having a child, you can say goodbye to your sex life. And even though this can happen, I personally believe that it depends on you and your attitude only. Of course, if you already accept that your love life is over and that every second of the rest of your life needs to be dedicated to your child, that’s probably how it’s going to be for you. However, if you accept that despite this huge change, you can still find time for love if you put in some extra effort, then there’s no reason for your love life to die. With that in mind, here are a few tips I’d like to share with you, and hopefully, they can help you stay happy in your marriage.
Start with small romantic gestures
The first couple of months of parenting are likely to be very busy, and being active in the bedroom will probably not be the most important thing in your schedule. However, there are still some things you can do to show your partner that you haven’t forgotten about them. For example, I used to give my husband a massage while the baby was asleep – and, of course, he would return the favor on some other days. Or, another thing I would sometimes do is slip a small “I love you” note in his lunch box before he went to work. These are small things, but they can help you keep the romance alive.
Put love on schedule
Once you do start feeling comfortable enough to have sex again, the chances are that you will still be busy taking care of your baby, catching up with friends, perhaps going back to work, etc. However, sometimes, when you feel like there’s no time for something, you just have to make time. So, even though literally scheduling sex might not sound like the most romantic thing in the world, and you’re probably raising your eyebrow at me already, it actually comes with more than a few benefits. For starters, you’d actually have sex, but also, knowing when it’s happening would give you something to look forward to, to be excited about. And besides, if you can schedule other things in your life, why not schedule some physical love, too?
Try something new
Since you’ve just had a baby, it’s safe to assume that you and your partner are mature grown-ups who are comfortable around each other. So, why not spice things up by introducing some adult toys? When talking about these toys, your options are really endless. You can check out an online adult shop together, and choose something that interests you, or you can surprise your partner. My husband and I, for example, already had some experience with adult toys, so I knew what he likes. And after a few months of getting comfortable with my changed body, I decided to surprise him with a few of such toys – it did the trick for me, and it might help you too.
Make it quicker
Quickies are probably not on many women’s list of favorite things to do. But, before you roll your eyes and skip this tip, hear me out. Having quickies with your spouse can help you two connect, and it’s also another way to have spontaneous sex – just a shorter one. Plus, it leaves you with plenty of time to do whatever else you want to do that day. So, just because it’s quick, it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad.
Take some time off
Finally, if time is the problem, you can always find somebody to take your baby off your hands for a few hours. I, personally, did not feel comfortable leaving my baby with a babysitter this early on, but fortunately, I have a sister who loves babies, and she was more than happy to take care of my child for one night. Then, you can book a romantic hotel room, and organize a date night. Whether you choose to have a nice dinner and watch some movies or just enjoy each other’s company and affection, it’s bound to bring you two closer.
It’s not uncommon for couples to become a bit distanced after a baby arrives, but staying distanced only means that you haven’t tried getting closer again. As you can see, there are plenty of things you can do, from simple notes that show you’re still thinking of your spouse to date nights that require just a bit of organization, there are always ways to maintain love. So, do try some of my tips, and your love is bound to become even stronger than before.
